N-Control’s “Avenger” PS3 Accessory Promises to Revolutionize Gameplay 

Really? That looks like a flustercuk. >_>

 

N-Control is releasing its new accessory for the PlayStation 3 controller, this November. N-Control guarantees to provide users with “the ultimate gaming advantage.” N-Control claims its “Avenger” accessory to be “the most sophisticated secret weapon in the gaming industry,”. I swear, just about every other accessory maker and their dog claims this whenever they release an accessory too. Maybe I should place one of my turds in the freezer overnight and call it “the joystick that literally conforms to the way you hold it”. “The ShitStick, available now for 29.99 at where ever over-priced accessories can be found.”

Oh Demotivational, where would we be without you?

All cynicism and witty dialogue aside; the Avenger is an external adapter that houses the PlayStation 3 controller to enhance game play. The accessory tightly grips the controller’s exterior surface, providing an immersive gaming experience through an intuitive user-interface. Or so N-Control claims.  “It enhances the gamer’s manual dexterity and situational awareness by improving accuracy and reaction time,” says David Kotkin, lead designer of The N-Control Avenger. “This sophisticated accessory is specially engineered for those who want to push their gaming abilities to new heights.” The Avenger supposedly allows for rapid, fluid movements between individual buttons and analogue sticks (because I’ve always complained that my thumbs were just too fucking slow), allowing gamers to access nine functions simultaneously (who the hell needs nine functions at once?). The adapter comes equipped with a stabilizer tripod, high-precision tension straps, hair-triggers, and sensitivity adjusters, which can be fine-tuned like the price of a indecisive crack whore.

The Avenger’s release date coincides with the launch of Modern Warfare 3. The Avenger will only be available in a limited edition of 5000 Units Worldwide; gamers had better hurry if they wish to take advantage of this offer The PS3 Avenger can be ordered online from the N-Control website for $48.99.

For more information,go here

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  • Mave
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